What Kind of Jerk Are You?

What’s an average workday like?

I work for about an hour, hide in the bathroom for about 4 hours, and eat for about 2 hours.

I’m not sure what I do anymore, but it’s been fun!

Work, work, work, work, work.

True or False, you love having meetings when it could CLEARLY have been an email.

True

False

How often do you bring up politics in the lunchroom and then walk away quietly when people start arguing?

Never

Once a week

Every. Damn. Day. #sorrynotsorry

Do you write extra large on birthday cards so the rest of your coworkers don’t have space and are forced to only write “hbd”?

Guilty

I don’t write in birthday cards – that’s how much of a jerk I am.

That’s inconsiderate

Have you ever eaten someone’s lunch even though it was clearly labeled?

As soon as it enters the building, it’s company property.

I’d never!

What are you more likely to heat up in the breakroom microwave?

Chicken

Fish

Popcorn for waaay too long

Do you purposefully crop dust your coworkers so you can blame it on Debra from accounting?

Hell yeah, that’s hilarious!

Gross, no!

Debra’s got it easy, you should hear what I do to Rick in legal.

Have you ever jammed the printer and then just walked away?

Yeah, that’s what the printer guy is for.

No, I always clean my messes.

Have you ever given an IOU as a secret Santa gift?

I left my wallet at home that day.

It’s the thought that counts.

I’m a great gift giver!

Your co-worker left their phone in the bathroom. You…

Pray it’s unlocked so you can send all of his contacts porn spam.

Return it immediately, it’s the right thing to do.

Silence the phone and keep it at your desk while they search for it for hours and hours. Then, when they really freak out, you put it back in the bathroom exactly where you found it. Hopefully they find it before someone really steals it.

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